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Why we let our self-confidence be dictated by others and how to change this

“You are useless", "how stupid are you", "you talk too much", "your questions are stupid", "you are not good enough", "the neighbor's daughter is better than you"? well, these are just a few examples of phrases that we heard during our childhood or adolescence that made us believe that we were really not good enough. Unfortunately, we grew up in a society that still believes in punishment as a form of education and mental abuse as a form of stimulation. Well, at least this was the vast majority in my time as a child, and I realize that this is no longer the case with our children, thank goodness!


But going back to our experience, these phrases, which many considered innocent, may have hurt you and shaped the way you see yourself, much more than you realize. The fact is that as always, it will all depend very much on the personality of each one and on who it was that said the striking phrase to us. But in all cases, it marks you and makes you doubt your own ability sooner or later.


These phrases, especially if they were said by our parents or close relatives, are registered in our subconscious and are taken as truths by our mind. They stay there hiding, waiting for the best moment to appear and "defend" us from the danger of exposing ourselves and failing. So, what happens? They create limits to our growth and to our expansion, that is, when we become adults, we learn to manage, to work, to have a profession, and we begin to grow within a career, or in some business we set up, and everything seems to be going well until BOOM! The limiting belief, the impostor crisis comes along and tells you: "But who do you think you are to grow so fast like that?", or "Who do you think you are to do such an important job or to have such a big company?" etc. Do you know this? Well, it happens to all of us at one time or another in our lives when we are determined to grow and expand.


Some manage to simply ignore this voice of internal sabotage and move on, but most of us, at one time or another, become stagnant and accommodate ourselves, we choose to let go of our dreams believing that they are not for us. We establish a comfort zone, and within it we die little by little inside and eventually outside.


But does it have to be this way?


No, things don't have to end like this, we can overcome the internal saboteurs, recognize our personal value and have confidence in ourselves more and more. There are several ways to deal with these inner voices and make them disappear once and for all from our lives. We can do this through therapy or even alone, but with a certain difficulty. We can also get help from someone specialized in this type of conflict. Through techniques that can go deep and reach what is hidden in our subconscious, such as the ThetaHealing technique, we can work on these hidden beliefs, bring them to the surface and transform them once and for all, leaving our path free to flourish.


Another slightly longer, but no less effective method is the use of meditation and certain mantras, or affirmations that we make in a meditative state. In this case we must first reach a state of mental concentration, "clear" the mind of external interferences, and practice the chosen mantra several times until it remains as an echo in our mind.



Here are some mantra ideas that you can start using today:


· I love myself unconditionally and freely express my love for others.


· I am intelligent and thoughtful and have much to contribute to the world. What I have to say is important.


· I trust my ability to communicate clearly and directly with others.


· I act positively on behalf of others as well as myself.


· I have the talent to reach my full potential and celebrate the success of others as well as my own.


· I am open to trying something new and I am sure I can learn from this experience, whatever the outcome.


And many others, you just need to connect with what you really want and make your personal mantra.


About the author:

Isabel is an Intuitive Self-love-coach, energy healer and Body Analyst, specialised in helping women who feel lost, insecure, with low self-esteem and low confidence to fall madly in love with themselves and upgrade their lives to the next level. www.selflovesolution.com

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