Did you know that we have 5 major fears, or emotional pains that can keep us paralyzed in many areas of our lives? These fears or pains may be holding you back from moving forward, achieving your dreams, desires, being fulfilled in life, living the relationship of your dreams, and much more...
These are fears that we all experience sooner or later, with greater or lesser intensity. The biggest problem caused by them is that they prevent us from moving forward, for fear of suffering or feeling them, we get stuck in ‘comfort zones’ where there is no growth or learning, and also no success.
These pains are: rejection, or fear of being rejected; abandonment, or fear of being abandoned; manipulation, or fear of being manipulated; humiliation, or fear of being humiliated; betrayal, or fear of being betrayed or replaced.
These pains are created from experiences that we have had during our foetal and early childhood development, or they can also come from experiences lived in a previous life that have markedly impregnated our ethereal body.
All our stories and experiences lived in early childhood are stored in the limbic system and these stories generate emotions and reactions in the baby that from that experience will create a schema of response to that situation. This response will always be the same when the basic emotion is the same, thus creating a repetition of stories or a repetition of patterns in our lives. We can call these programmed reactions deep-seated beliefs, which will thus be influencing all our actions in live.
Not all patterns or beliefs are negative, they are just a response to a situation experienced, the problem is that the responses that generate emotional pain are uncomfortable and of course painful, so we try to avoid them whenever possible, but since they are part of our emotional base, this becomes impossible. The fear of these pains begins to unconsciously govern our choices, which prevents us from moving forward and growing in different circumstances and situations.
Let's now detail how each of these pains influence our experience and what kinds of problems they may be attracting to us, and also give you some tips to help you with them:
1. Rejection: The feeling of being rejected or the fear of being rejected, either for who you are or for the ideas you have, can make a person never express who they really are, or never share their ideas with others, and never have the courage to try something new or unknown. People who feel rejected, either by other people or by the world in general, usually present a more shy or closed behaviour, are afraid to express their opinions, sometimes they isolate themselves from the world. This means that brilliant ideas are often never exposed. Possible practical solutions: observe your feelings and notice where and when you feel rejected, try to be in environments and deal with people who accept your ideas and accept who you are. In session*: it would be interesting to work on the subconscious beliefs and reasons for feeling rejected and to re-signify those feelings in a healing of the inner child.
2. Abandonment: the feeling of always being abandoned or the fear of being abandoned can cause this person to stay in toxic relationships, or to accept any type of relationship simply to avoid being alone, they have the need to please everyone. This feeling can lead to anxiety or depression, depending on the environment in which this person lives. They may tend to hoard things or overeat to compensate for the emotional lack they feel. Possible practical solutions: explain to the people around you your need to be close and to feel loved. Allow yourself to cry to release the pressure. In session: learn to love yourself and to give yourself the love you expect from others, work with your inner child to give new meaning to the feeling of abandonment.
3. Manipulation: The fear of being manipulated generates in the person the belief that he is not good enough. They believe they are valued only for what they can do for others, and they believe that everyone has a hidden interest behind their actions. Generally, people with this fear become colder people, not showing many emotions and feelings because they fear being manipulated if they show what they feel. They can become manipulative and dissatisfied people, and at the same time very lonely, even if surrounded by people. Possible solutions: learn to value who you are, not just what you do, and to value people for who they are. In session: work on beliefs related to manipulation and feeling manipulated.
4. Humiliation: the fear of being humiliated can be caused by a deep feeling of not being good enough, acting in the same way as the fear of being rejected the fear of being humiliated makes the person not expose himself and be very methodical, planning all the steps with caution, methodology. He is afraid to take risks. They keep their own and others' feelings to themselves and can end up accumulating a lot of emotional pain for being afraid to express what they feel. Possible solutions: use your planning skills to craft your plan carefully, but don't be afraid to execute it, learn to trust your own ability to craft and create. In session: Re-signify the experiences that made the child feel humiliated. Work on the beliefs related to humiliation.
5. Betrayal: The fear of being betrayed or replaced can lead a person to always want to be the best and become very competitive. This person tends to not completely trust anyone, not even themselves because they always have the impression that they will be replaced. They always have the fear of not being good enough. Or you can become a perfectionist to the extreme, causing a project never to be completed, because it will never be perfect. Possible solutions: first learn to trust yourself and your personal value, focus your mind on the present moment and what you are doing instead of always thinking you could be somewhere else. Use your desire to compete to compete with yourself in a healthy way, and learn to not be so rigid with your projects understanding that everything is perfected with practice and execution. In session: work on loving yourself in a healthy way, work on the need to be perfect or else you will be replaced, resignifying the childhood trauma.
These fears or pains are present in us in different degrees and can manifest themselves in different ways in each person, depending on the circumstance and the "trauma" generated by it at the moment they were first felt. One of them, or even all of them, may be the hidden emotion that may be paralyzing you from taking the actions that will lead to your success in many areas of your life.
Does this mean that we can never overcome this fear and that we are doomed to suffer from these "traumas" for the rest of our lives? No, of course not! The simple fact of recognizing that these pains exists in you and knowing how to deal with them already helps a lot in overcoming the "trauma". But many times, just recognizing it is not enough, many times these emotions can generate other and various situations to accumulate making the pain so great that the mind simply goes into denial for being too afraid to look at the problem.
This subject is very complex and it would be very daring to try to address everything in this article, but from personal and professional experience I can say that with the help of a therapist and through the cultivation of self-knowledge and self-love these blocks and “traumas” can be overcome and your success closer than you can imagine.
There is still a lot to be said on this subject, I will be addressing this in other articles and content, so stay tuned!
*In session means in a session with a coach, a thetahealer or a therapist
Isabel Mendes is an Intuitive Self-Love coach, Energy Healer and Body Analyst with the mission of helping purpose-driven women to achieve greatness on all areas of their lives by learning to love themselves first creating success from the inside out. Click her to book a free discover call https://calendly.com/isabelmendescoach/20min