How to tell my story?
The answer will depend on what it is that you want to know. I can talk about my nationality, my parents, my childhood, how I grew up, what I studied and what I do today and how I got here. But that would be only part of the story. I can talk about my personality of what I like or dislike, of my values and my preferences. That would also be only one part of the story. It is very complex to define what makes us who we are because everything is a sum of all the experiences, emotions and feelings accumulated throughout the journey and that is what builds us and makes us who we are: unique.
In the case of this page, what I want to tell you is a little of what brought me here, or better, what motivated me to make the choices I make today and be here introducing myself to you. My empathy for women is and has always been present in my life since I was very young. I have always considered that women should love, help and defend each other. I felt inspired by my mother, the first woman in my life to be present to other women, to treat them with empathy and equality always. I have always felt and believed within me that women are strong and capable, sublime and sacred beings that generate life.
When I realized for the first time that many women were abused, it burned in my soul like an ember of indignation and revolt. When this abuse was committed on someone I loved as my second mother, the pain was even greater and the sadness even more profound. I was only 6 years old when I promised myself that it would never happen to me, nor would I let it happen to those around me. I was indignant at the lack of help and support that women in these conditions found themselves in and how they, warriors, kept everything to themselves, without letting others know of their immense pain. At that time, they could do little, the laws to protect them were precarious or did not exist, society was not there to defend them, it was their duty to serve and bow their heads, accept the abuse, the harsh words, the physical stoning and of your being, without being able to say anything. After all, who were they to say anything? Only women!
But the same woman, who suffered, did what she could to get up, to show us that she did have a lot of dignity and life within her. At 40, the one, who had left school at the age of 10, went back to school until she graduated as a teacher and showed me what it means to have strength and be a woman.
Despite my determination not to let abuses like these happen in my life, they did. Predators tried to abuse my body as a girl who was becoming a woman... They tried ... but I managed to say no! And flee into the arms of the one who had also been abused by the same predator and receive the necessary protection from her.
But then, nothing happened, you will tell me. Nothing? When someone you have learned to love since you were little touches you inappropriately and tries to force you to do things that you know are not right, the first reaction you have is incredulity, a desperation that grows inside you and screams: No, it can't be happening to me!!!! No please don't !!! Get me out of this nightmare now, I must be wrong, I'm just a child, he knows I'm a child, what's going on here??? Until you realize that it is true, that you are not mistaken and that you have to get out of there! An immense force is born within you and you shout: NO! Push the other and run. But often you are not lucky enough to be able to say no and leave, often you have nowhere to go or who to call. We often feel guilty about the abuse we suffer and often we don't even realize that we have suffered this abuse.
It doesn't matter how far, how long or how intense your abuse was. Abuse is abuse and the marks it leaves on the soul are deep and real.
But the truth comes out one day: we are stronger than what tries to destroy us, we are indestructible, like a Phoenix we are reborn from the ashes and we continue to grow, to make our light shine. The experience that caused us pain can now teach us how strong we are. Strong to endure and continue to live, strong to overcome our own doubts and fears and move forward with the determination to make a different future and a better present for ourselves and for those who will come after us, so that there are no more abused women in the world.
Isabel Mendes is an Intuitive Life Coach, master in ThetaHealing® and Access Bars® practitioner, with the mission of helping women who have suffered or suffer from abuse, find their way back to self-love, self-respect and dignity. Facilitating the healing of wounds that are still open and also bringing healing and understanding to the initial wound, the starting point and the subconscious beliefs that lead these people to attract perpetrators in their lives.
Isabel has a natural and strong intuition and offers a deep holistic experience to her clients. She has 3 children and worked as a Public Relations and Photographer for many years before becoming a Life Coach.
Isabel works with women determined to change their lives, to free themselves from patterns of abuse and disrespect. She guides them in the process of discovering who they really are and what they really want, generating clarity, determining priorities, boundaries and reconnecting with themselves and their dreams.
Born in Brazil, she currently lives in London after spending 10 years in Paris and 5 years in Dubai.